the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
