There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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