You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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