Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
