I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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