What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
