I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
