We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
