When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
