His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
