we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
