My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize