hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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