I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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