like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
