Plan B is the new Plan A
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I want a musical about memes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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