I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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