Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
please come you make the beer taste better
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Houston, we have a blender
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
