Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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