marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize