Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
