Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
