so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
