i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
