Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
