He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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