Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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