I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
