I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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