You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
