they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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