I want to make a zoo with you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
