I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
