I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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