he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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