she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just took my morning after pill in the library
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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