he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
