plz talk dirty to me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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