this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
