Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize