Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
