i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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