What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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