Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
