the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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