Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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