Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
