i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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