Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
