I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
