6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
