Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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