you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
