i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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